Do you listen to your kids?
I mean really listen?
Most parent/child/teen difficulties result from teens feeling "unheard".
Most teen patients who cut, or are depressed, or are angry report "My parents don't care what I think."
"They promise me stuff and then never follow through."
Do you bribe, promise, and absentmindedly say, "Yes" only to take it back?
Are your inconsistencies making your kid "crazy"?
Teens often react out of frustration.
Self-harm and depression can result partially from inconsistencies and feeling powerless and unseen.
Building relationships that are positive reduces stress.
When problems crop up do you talk out the situation & plan together?
Or do you both yell?
Do you regularly spend time hanging out with them so that when you have something important to say, they'll hear you?
Do you know them well enough to speak into their lives?
Can you empathize with them and see their perspective?
Do you coach them and discuss their daily lives and friendships?
Or have you put them on "autopilot" thinking, "they'll eventually figure it out".
Do you spend time apart and only enforce rules when it suits you?
You can help improve your child's/teen's mental health by being consistent, present, and listening.
By allowing them to open up and give their perspective.
Meaningful interactions often diffuse anger and frustration.
It won't happen overnight so give it time.
And above all, don't talk.